I'M STRESSED

I used to consider myself a happy person. Someone without worries in life.
"¿What happened? ¿Why did you say 'used to'? ¿Is it because electricity bills are higher than usual now?"
Yeah that's one of the main reasons, but it's not the only one....

A couple days ago I woke up really stressed, decided to drink some coffee because that usually calms me down.
So I went to my kitchen to make myself some coffee using a NESPRESSO machine, but to my absolute deception I realized that the NESPRESSO machine, that my Uncle in law that died yelling in front of his mother at new year's eve gave me, had just had to break.
No worries yet. A friend of mine knew about NESPRESSO and told me to buy a new NESPRESSO machine.
Alright, we're making some progress now!. So I went to NESPRESSO's webpage to buy A COFFEE MACHINE, ABSOLUTE MISTAKE.

¿Do I buy the "Original" or the "Vertuo"? ¿What's the difference between both, and which one is the newest?
¿Is Obama still the president? ¿Was communism a good idea?

I didn't want to lose my head so I clicked "Original". Worst mistake of my life.
I just wanted a damn coffee machine ¿What is an Inissia? It sounds like "Initiate" BUT THEN THERE'S "Essenza" which sounds like "Essence".
This is bad, i'm a heavy overthinker and I'm already losing my mind...
Then I realized that there was more stuff.
Plus, all these coffee machines didn't have support to add milk. I like milk.
I scrolled down a little bit and saw the CitiZ & Milk, Lattissima One, Lattissima Pro and Gran Lattissima.

I'm dissapointed with Nespresso..
Why is it so damn hard TO CHOOSE A DAMN COFFE MACHINE?
You know what? Screw the "Original", what about the "Vertuo"?

Aight let me be straight. ¿What the HELL is going on here? ¿What's the difference between Vertuo Next Deluxe and la Next Premium? ¿Plus Deluxe D? ¿Plus Deluxe C?
¿Do they support milk or will I have to make my own manly boy milk?
¿And what's the deal with Limited Editions? ¿Does it change the functionality or is it purely aesthetic?
Hold on a second...

OH GOD THEY HAVE ORIGINAL AND VERTUO CAPSULES TOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

¿Do they work the same way or are they different? ¿Will I have to buy a Vertuo Deluxe Premium D Lattissima One capsule just for one machine?
BUT THAT AIN'T ALL

VERTUO MUGS 😭
Does this mean that if I try to drink "Original" coffee with a "Vertuo" mug then all the coffee vaporizes?
I give up.

At the end, between all the despair, I ended up drinking 3 bottles of Tabasco, 7 redbull cans and 2 lines of coke.
Died from cardiac arrest. Don't care. They already have a NESPRESSO machine here in hell. I'm happy.